when you suddenly realise that you are really not so important to almost everyone..so what happens..a little bit of a shame faced..then thank goodness, it was all in your head and probably nobody knows about it, or do they?
it is always a little bit of a dampener coz you’d be wondering but..but… you did try to be good, true..well sometimes the motive might be questionable but then again, did you do anything overboard? ..no not really and then you start to feel a little deflated and lonely..
and you’d be thinking, i thought i was special..yes, tough, everyone has that same thought of themselves, moron…please bring yourself back to earth, i am getting rather impatient with you!
and then what do i do? i go into construction..construction?
yes, i like to go into body construction and pump some real mean iron..why? or spin myself silly..
coz… the body is never perfect, you can spend your whole life constructing it, it will always be a pet project, it will always have something for you to work on..maybe that long holiday..or maybe that bout of the laziness or maybe just that middle age spread?
i started when i was 18, don’t ask me how many decades later it is now, went through gaps of lay offs, sloth, half heartedness, living it up, but, it is always interesting to go back and tinker with it
it is one space in time i am totally shut off from the mundane problems of life, other peoples’ interests and needs…it is really kind of therapeutic to just hang, count, breath, enjoy the pump, flex and watch those muscles swelling up or getting ripped, picking my way through the gym like a pro
work on something you own, something you can wear with pride, rock all the clothes you like to put on…shallow? well maybe but it is just something that makes me feel good…just like that next person who’d rather be enjoying a big bucket of fried chicken…this is my thing and that is theirs..it is a free world, free to choose what you want to be
or like that song..choose to to be happy, i try to do that all of the time, sometimes not succeeding but try i will, if not, just get yourself lost in a work out, at least you end up with a better you?